Penises and Dildos and Sodomy

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:27 pm

NicDots wrote:Did you know in the middle ages in Europe, "sodomy" was anything outside of the missionary position? And if caught doing "sodomy" you could be burned at the stake?

Nicole

I found this from a medieval site

Thank goodness these constraints on sausaging do not exist now!

The Church taught it was better for a man to have nonprocreative sex than with his innocent wife (sex was only for reproductive reasons). To better understand this view, the Church taught when it was OK to have sex with ones wife and when it was easier to state when sex is forbidden.

"SEX IS FORBIDDEN WHEN A WOMAN IS MENSTRUATING, PREGNANT, NURSING, DURING LENT, ADVENT, WHITSUM WEEK AND EASTER WEEK. ON FEAST DAYS, FAST DAYS, SUNDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS. DURING THE DAYLIGHT. IF YOU ARE NAKED. IF YOU ARE IN A CHURCH. UNLESS YOU ARE TRYING TO PRODUCE A CHILD. NO FONDLING. NO LEWD KISSES. NO ORAL SEX. NO STRANGE POSITIONS. ONLY ONCE. TRY NOT TO ENJOY IT. WASH AFTERWARDS.

highpriestess · Post by **highpriestess** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:34 pm

damn. i bet there were some horny bitches back then.

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:40 pm

in the Victorian period in England woman who were suffering 'hysteria' were relieved (masturbated) by their local doctor to help them. I am being completely serious!!

Matt

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:41 pm

Barbara!!

I imagine you would feign hysteria...were needs must!!! (Matt imagines Barbara in 19th century clothing)

GUITARIDOL5682 · Post by **GUITARIDOL5682** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:30 pm

Matthew wrote:The Church taught it was better for a man to have nonprocreative sex than with his innocent wife (sex was only for reproductive reasons). To better understand this view, the Church taught when it was OK to have sex with ones wife and when it was easier to state when sex is forbidden.

"SEX IS FORBIDDEN WHEN A WOMAN IS MENSTRUATING, PREGNANT, NURSING, DURING LENT, ADVENT, WHITSUM WEEK AND EASTER WEEK. ON FEAST DAYS, FAST DAYS, SUNDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS. DURING THE DAYLIGHT. IF YOU ARE NAKED. IF YOU ARE IN A CHURCH. UNLESS YOU ARE TRYING TO PRODUCE A CHILD. NO FONDLING. NO LEWD KISSES. NO ORAL SEX. NO STRANGE POSITIONS. ONLY ONCE. TRY NOT TO ENJOY IT. WASH AFTERWARDS.

Well being a non active Catholic 'Spectacles Testicles wallet and watch' type that is, i've probably had sex during all the above...So will my ass burn in HELL for all eternity ? Hang on i haven't had sex in a church but in the grounds of a church !! Does that count ?

GUITARIDOL5682 · Post by **GUITARIDOL5682** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:34 pm

I forgot to mention i fucking LOVE Rammstein the first time i saw that video i was laughing my balls off Very BIZZARE but they are above average Live in concert they do put on a performance and a half 'Not to be missed'..

highpriestess · Post by **highpriestess** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 6:56 pm

hrm. does it count as a church is it's not quite a church yet.... like if it's still kind of a construction site?

*grin*

Zakk Daniels · Post by **Zakk Daniels** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 9:10 pm

As my Beloved Irish German, Roman Catholic Brotha, Zakk Wylde says...

...The 3 rules are as follows:

1) GOD
2) FAMILY
3) BEER

In that order!!!!

NicDots · Post by **NicDots** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 9:54 pm

Matthew wrote:
NicDots wrote:Did you know in the middle ages in Europe, "sodomy" was anything outside of the missionary position? And if caught doing "sodomy" you could be burned at the stake?
Nicole

I found this from a medieval site Thank goodness these constraints on sausaging do not exist now!

The Church taught it was better for a man to have nonprocreative sex than with his innocent wife (sex was only for reproductive reasons). To better understand this view, the Church taught when it was OK to have sex with ones wife and when it was easier to state when sex is forbidden.

"SEX IS FORBIDDEN WHEN A WOMAN IS MENSTRUATING, PREGNANT, NURSING, DURING LENT, ADVENT, WHITSUM WEEK AND EASTER WEEK. ON FEAST DAYS, FAST DAYS, SUNDAYS, WEDNESDAYS, FRIDAYS AND SATURDAYS. DURING THE DAYLIGHT. IF YOU ARE NAKED. IF YOU ARE IN A CHURCH. UNLESS YOU ARE TRYING TO PRODUCE A CHILD. NO FONDLING. NO LEWD KISSES. NO ORAL SEX. NO STRANGE POSITIONS. ONLY ONCE. TRY NOT TO ENJOY IT. WASH AFTERWARDS.

So wait, I could have sex in a church...as long as I was trying to get pregnant!?

"Hello Priest, erm...just trying to get pregnant, that's all!"

LMAO, try not to enjoy it!

God made sex so it would be enjoyable...well, that's what I keep being told. I think that only goes if you're a dude.

therhoadlesstraveled · Tue Sep 23, 2008 9:29 pm

goes for chicks too. and dolphins, they're the only other mammal that has sex for pleasure.

highpriestess · Post by **highpriestess** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:41 pm

lmfao... why did i just get the weirdest visual of some suave dolphin all puttin the moves on another dolphin...

hey... i wonder... since dolphins do have such humanlike qualitites (mentally...) and if theyDO have sex for pleasure, instead of just some primal instinct to mate during a "heat" period like most other animals... follow me on this? Then are there any homosexual dolphins? Do they have those kinds of tendencies as well?

Im not trying to be sarcastic, by the way, i'm REALLY actually wondering this shit. lol.

GUITARIDOL5682 · Post by **GUITARIDOL5682** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:19 pm

Well dogs are not bothered what sex or orifice they sniff out.Dolphins may have an extra 'blow' hole for more then we think ??

rice_pudding · Post by **rice_pudding** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:31 pm

Matthew wrote:in the Victorian period in England woman who were suffering 'hysteria' were relieved (masturbated) by their local doctor to help them. I am being completely serious!!

Matt

they also used to tie women upside down from trees and whatnot in the hope that the womb would float down to the right end of the body.

Yep they used to believe that a womens womb ocasionaly floated up to the head and induced hysteria. that was an older beleif than the victorian one mind, back when they would make you blead to cure a cold.

Rob

rice_pudding · Post by **rice_pudding** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:32 pm

highpriestess wrote:lmfao... why did i just get the weirdest visual of some suave dolphin all puttin the moves on another dolphin...

hey... i wonder... since dolphins do have such humanlike qualitites (mentally...) and if theyDO have sex for pleasure, instead of just some primal instinct to mate during a "heat" period like most other animals... follow me on this? Then are there any homosexual dolphins? Do they have those kinds of tendencies as well?

Im not trying to be sarcastic, by the way, i'm REALLY actually wondering this shit. lol.

a friend recently told me that a scientific survey has revealed dogs can be gay

so i'd say dolphins are possible

Rob

highpriestess · Post by **highpriestess** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 5:15 pm

lol. gives a WHOLE new meaning to "doggy-style" eh?

(did i just type that out loud? lol)