Ultimate Rhoads

I went to school with Susan and although she was 2 years younger than me I knew her because she lived on the next street and was so fat she was grotesque, she dressed badly and both she and her equally fat brother were very dumb.
Susan was an easy target for us kids and like young kids we didn't care and enjoyed seeing her break. When I got to about 13-14 I realized just how cruel I had been, I apologized to Susan and did my best to prevent my friends carrying on but that didn’t stop other kids teasing her.

Later I learned her Dad used to beat her and her Brother and locked her Mum in the house and still only allows her to leave the house with him when he goes out to get drunk, he drives to the Pub that it 400 yards away and drives back pissed! He is a real all round good guy, because that’s what people who know him at the pub think, I know because I have heard them say it!

When Susan left school she really tried hard and made the best of herself, her hair is perfect her makeup is just right and she is immaculately dressed, within a year or so of leaving school she became pregnant and delivered a daughter but as her luck is always bad he abandoned her. She and her daughter lived at her parents, so sadly for Susan she never moved away.
I was at a customers house a few years ago and when he knew where I grew up he said do you know Susan, they had been friends for a while and he told me that her Dad still humiliates her in public, we agreed that her Dad is a parasite with no redeeming features and agree Susan is a sweet lovely woman.
The next time I visited my customer he told me he had mentioned my name to Susan and she said I was a lovely man who always said hello and chatted to her, I felt moved because she remembers this and not the horrible stuff I put her through. From then on every time I pass her on the way to visit my parents I make sure she see's me and I wave and shout hello.

About 2 months ago Susan’s Daughter did what Susan never managed, she moved away to live with her Boyfriend; she got away from her drunken ignorant Grandfather and broke the cycle that Susan is stuck in.

On Friday while I was getting my hair cut the woman cutting my hair was somebody I grew up with and we began to reminisce, she told me that 2 weeks ago Susan went to work and at lunchtime went to the ladies toilet and took her own life! She told me that at the funeral her Mum took her aside and said quietly so Susan’s father couldn't hear 'He still thumped her you know'.
I only wrote this because Susan led an un extraordinary life which won't be written down and will be soon forgotten.
I can't begin to imagine how unhappy and unfulfilled she was or how lonely she was after her Daughter left her alone with her brutal father, I also don't want to imagine what depths he sank or if it was only violence that she suffered at his hands? She was only 40.

Sorry to have bored you with this it isn't important just ordinary.

Very sad to hear this Ian.
Sometimes people do not realize what they do to others.....

xx123456

Hi Ian

That was very hard to read, as I feared the inevitability-it was also very frank and honest of you Ian. None of us are saints and I think it is great you made a mends with her. By saying hi to her and caring how she was probably meant more than you know.
I know it is a cliche, but children can be so mean and cruel to one another I am sure she knew this too.

I hope Susan rests well now: maybe the message of this is to forgive those that have wronged you and say sorry to those you have wronged if you get the chance; facebook is a great way to find people from the past, if you want to find them, or indeed be found.

Matt

A similar thing has just happened to a long time friend of mine. He was found dead with his throat cut. He'd taking his own life and i just wish i could of helped him. I hadn't been in touch with the guy for a good 6 years and we stopped bumping into each other etc. I heard he had falling on hard times and had started drinking heavily, he then lost his job. But i just know deep down that we can all hit rock bottom at sometime in our lives. It's a struggle to get back on track. I just remind myself that someone else will be in a worse state of mind and i get back on track. It's such a waste of life and he was such a well liked person always having a laugh and he was the last person i thought who would of died so young. I hope he's gone to a better place and he's with his late Mother. RIP mate.

Ian you say she will soon be forgotten. On this board we keep the memory of someone alive who lived over a quarter of a century ago. The written word is a very powerful thing. The more you write about someone the more they become personified. If Susan was someone you feel deserves to be remembered you can either write a blog about it on the internet and ask others (friends, neighbors etc.) to contribute their thoughts and memories to your blog. Sometimes blogs can raise community awareness of social issues and become a catharsis for everyone. We have all been bullies at sometime in our lives. Some outgrow it others get jailed or are no longer on this earth. I caught myself acting like a bully when I was in 6th grade. I apologized as well and never did it again. I see a lot of guitar students who look like they are being bullied at school. I try very hard to raise their esteem up and get them to express themselves throught the guitar. It is my way of giving back the knowledge I learned from moving beyond my sometimes "Darwin" tendencies.

GUITARIDOL5682 wrote:we can all hit rock bottom at sometime in our lives.

I have seen people fade away and I know now that it can happen to anyone even if they look fine. I always try to be careful with people because you never know......

Ian, thank you for posting this. It must have been difficult to write. It is good of you to remember her in this way.

Beyond all the sadness I felt from reading this, I must confess that the thought came to me that if I were in the area, the father would go next. Then I decided to pray for him instead.