tell me why?

JustTakeAPebble · Post by **JustTakeAPebble** » Tue May 05, 2009 6:22 pm

why life can have its greatest ups, and then give you a right royal kick in the balls?

why i ask such an obsurd question?

my granddad on my dad's side has been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

do i really need to loose another grandparent to such a horrid thing?

Simon

wareagle · Post by **wareagle** » Tue May 05, 2009 7:36 pm

NicDots · Post by **NicDots** » Tue May 05, 2009 11:40 pm

I'm sorry to hear that Simon.

I have only one grandparent left and losing the other 3 was very difficult.
If you need a friend, you know I'm here for ya.

JustTakeAPebble · Post by **JustTakeAPebble** » Wed May 06, 2009 4:13 pm

Thanks wareagle.

and thank you Nic

it's good to know, cos sometimes thats all I will need, knowing that a friend is there for me

Simon

Sarab · Post by **Sarab** » Wed May 06, 2009 5:58 pm

Simon, we are here for you, always.

JustTakeAPebble · Post by **JustTakeAPebble** » Wed May 06, 2009 6:24 pm

Thanks Gina.

Just hate to go through all it again... but hey, the Black Label Society song The Last Goodbye ive been singing it no end, the lyrics are quite meaningful to me.

Simon

randys roadie · Post by **randys roadie** » Fri May 08, 2009 7:38 am

im sorry to hear your sad news simon i hope that he gets better and you can put the past behind you

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Fri May 08, 2009 7:51 am

check your pms

JustTakeAPebble · Post by **JustTakeAPebble** » Fri May 08, 2009 7:47 pm

Hi Randys Roadie

Sadly he wont, its too late, all they can do is just give him a brief extended time or a comfort way of life till he does go.

Hi Matt

Check your PMs

Simon

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Sat May 09, 2009 7:31 am

Checked back Master Simon

GUITARIDOL5682 · Post by **GUITARIDOL5682** » Sat May 09, 2009 9:27 am

Hi Simon Sorry to hear about this mate it isn't that long ago we had this conversation. I have to say this and it may sound bad but that's what i thought at the time. My Dad had the big C and the minute you here that word you think of the worst. Some cases are worse then others, look how $haron O is still with us. When my Dad found out he had it they gave him 18 months which was a hell of time for him and every time he had his chemo i think he felt like he wanted to be 'not of this Earth'. Chemo is a drug which is still being experimented with as i speak. my Dad was one of those guinea pigs being tested on with a new breed of 'clinical trials' chemo. You hear these words from the doctors and all it is, is hope for the living. When my Dad passed i knew that he wasn't suffering anymore. In a worse case senario he could of lived for a couple of more months. I would of then of had to be the bearer of bad news to him. Because my Mam God Bless her she had a massive brain haemoerrage. Imagine that "Dad how are you feeling" are Mum's in the next ward on the critical list. ? So life has its way of healing, looking back now 6 years later, i think it happened for the best. They are both together, which is a comfort .We all have to go to our maker eventualy its just how we got there thats the importent thing. Chin up mate you've got friends to help you through this

JustTakeAPebble · Post by **JustTakeAPebble** » Sat May 09, 2009 7:47 pm

Thanks mate, means a lot.

And hey, I have to admire my granddad's sense of humour, he rang up earlier to tell us he's been having the finest champagne with the finest beef given to him by my aunty and her son lol, at least he's not giving up, he's just letting life goes as it comes.

Simon

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Sun May 10, 2009 9:10 am

Hi Simon

Humour is a great thing. A regular at the cons has terminal cancer and has been given two years to live.

The other day he was showing the bar maid all these un comfortable wires that are on his chest. She said "aw that looks really uncomfortable"

He looked sad and said

"I have to have them on for the rest of my life..mind you that is only a couple of years so it isn't that bad"

Humour and staying positive has been proven to make you last longer, so you tell your grandad to keep up his good spirits. We're are here for who knows how long anyway.

We love you Simon

Matt and Suziexxxx

JustTakeAPebble · Post by **JustTakeAPebble** » Sun May 10, 2009 9:26 am

Thanks Matt, that means a lot, I don't view it as a dark time really, just didn't think my other granddad
would get cancer, so it was a shock, but hey, I'm glad he's keeping positive about it all. As long as he is, I'm positive myself.

Another fun story from my grandparents though, lol my grandmother on my dad's side (the wife of the one who has cancer)
when she had a stroke at my uncle's allotment grand opening, she was taken home by car to rest, and on the way she waved at everyone
with a royal wave.

Simon

Post by **Trigger** » Mon May 11, 2009 7:26 am

I know you will find this a struggle Simon and I know because I have lost a few people close to me and that never gets easier.
I send our love to you and the family at this difficult time.

I want to tell you this story Simon but far from it being about your circumstances it is about wanting to let a loved one go. About three years ago I lost my last grandparent (my dads mum) she had a stroke and it brought on Alzheimer’s, she had always been a hard woman surviving the harshest poverty as a child as well as being raped. She struggled through life and lost her husband to Cancer when she was still a young woman. She didn’t re-marry (I think) because life’s bitter experience made her an angry intimidating woman, and in her late 70's she developed a terminal Cancer and then shocked the medic's by surviving it!!!!!.
I never felt very close to her and for large periods of time I never really saw her (she wasn't very encouraging). I never learned the depth of her disappointments until a short while before her demise when she told me her stories some of them had never been shared so I did feel honored to have been trusted.

Within days of her stroke she lost all the closeness with me that taken so long to develop and she became violent towards me blaming me for things I had done regarding my granddad, she promised never to tell him what I had done and she would forgive me but would never forget my crimes! (He had died ten years before I was born).

As the next few weeks progressed she got worse mentally and physically and I decided that I would not visit her in her nursing home anymore because it was to hurtful to see her and hear her accusations. We had been told she would only survive a few months so I knew I could live with my own absence. Well they were wrong and after two years she was still alive but in a very poor condition and I began to make visits again which hurt more than I can explain.
While my parents were on holiday she took a steep turn for the worse and I was the only family member in Britain and had to deal with her decline, I didn't want to alarm my parents unless I saw the end was closer. The medical staff in her nursing home had started to withdraw fluids from her and this was causing her to groan with the agony of thirst and she was drifting in and out of a form of consciousness.
I had her transferred to hospital because if she was going to slip away I wanted it to be in comfort, after my parents returned she defied medics again by pulling through and returning to her nursing home where she finally slipped away in her sleep a month later.

For the first time in my life I was both happy to see her go and sad at her passing, I don't feel wrong wishing her away when I did but feel glad that I helped her stay around a little longer in comfort,

I wonder if I what I said here makes sense because after reading it I have wondered if I should delete it, I think I am saying that if things become as bad as they can get it is not wrong to want that loved one to be out of pain.

Jessica mine and Oscars love to you and the family.