And Then The Fight Started.....
Posted: Fri Feb 13, 2009 4:17 pm
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
==================================================
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
so, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
==================================================
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My Gosh!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
==================================================
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started....
==================================================
THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway..'
That's when the fight started...
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
==================================================
A woman is standing , looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, wrinkled and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.'
And then the fight started...
==================================================
I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my mother-in-law up.
As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough."
That's when the fight started...
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
==================================================
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....
so, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
==================================================
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My Gosh!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
==================================================
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
And then the fight started....
==================================================
THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway..'
That's when the fight started...
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
==================================================
A woman is standing , looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, wrinkled and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.'
And then the fight started...
==================================================
I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my mother-in-law up.
As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough."
That's when the fight started...
