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A rather dark poem i wrote rather explicit (not sexual)
Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 6:47 pm
by siro_angel
This is a rather dark poem i wrote on the way back home from the jobcentre today.
Her shadow,
Bold and strong,
Through the flickering,
Candlelight,
She lay,
Motionless,
As if dead,
Her death,
Only shown through,
Her left wrist,
Bleeding like,
A gentle river flowing,
Her right hand,
Holds not a knife,
But a shard of glass,
The bottle beside her,
Held more whiskey,
Than the blood,
In her body,
Her lips,
Still pink,
Slowly turning to grey,
Her bottle,
Toppled over,
Scratched on the label,
This is the end,
This is the end.
Simon
Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 7:45 pm
by The Flying Dutchman
Wish I could write like that!
Add some music (in minor key) to it and you can have a nice song!
Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:36 pm
by siro_angel
The Flying Dutchman wrote:Wish I could write like that!
Add some music (in minor key) to it and you can have a nice song!
lmao! I cant put my writing to music, its hard lol
If you have any ideas they would be appiciated!
Simon
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:55 am
by RhoadsFan
poems can be happy???
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 2:17 am
by frank
sure. art is a reflection of the soul. moody joyful, introspective, whereever you're at emotionally or spiritually.
simon?
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 3:02 am
by Sarab
Wow Simon.
Just wow.
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 10:07 am
by siro_angel
frank wrote:sure. art is a reflection of the soul. moody joyful, introspective, whereever you're at emotionally or spiritually.
simon?
Indeed it is
I promise that i will make a happier poem, i was in a fowl mood after coming out of the jobcentre and i was pacing up to where i live (a 2 mile walk) and i started saying that poem out aloud as it comes out of my head.
I'll make a happier one dont you worry
Simon
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 11:24 am
by Cpt Matt Sparrow
Beautiful dark work there Simon...nice one!
Matt
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 1:53 pm
by Trigger
I love it, I think art comes in many forms and not all of them have to look happy & bright.
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 3:06 pm
by Paul Wolfe
siro_angel wrote:The Flying Dutchman wrote:Wish I could write like that!
Add some music (in minor key) to it and you can have a nice song!
lmao! I cant put my writing to music, its hard lol
If you have any ideas they would be appiciated!
Simon
Maybe you could collaborate with someone like Matt... you guys could be like Lennon/McCartney or Plant/Page.
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 6:34 pm
by siro_angel
Matthew wrote:Beautiful dark work there Simon...nice one!
Matt
How about it Matt? fancy me being plant you being page or whichever of us wants to be lennon and mccartney?
Shame i cant sing aint it?
Simon
Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2007 9:59 pm
by The Flying Dutchman
siro_angel wrote:lmao! I cant put my writing to music, its hard lol
Of course
you can!
Just find for each line a chord that will fit best and start from there and see where it's leading to!
Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2007 9:35 am
by siro_angel
The Flying Dutchman wrote:siro_angel wrote:lmao! I cant put my writing to music, its hard lol
Of course
you can!
Just find for each line a chord that will fit best and start from there and see where it's leading to!
*is daunted*
Simon
Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 1:33 am
by Six_Strung_Out
Of course you can!
Just find for each line a chord that will fit best and start from there and see where it's leading to!
FD is right on about the chords.
Of course your poem is dark and inward. So,
E-Minor A-Minor-D-Minor The melody for the words might surface unexpectedly.
Please keep writing
Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:57 pm
by Cpt Matt Sparrow
I'd be honourd to work with you Simon. Remember Suzie sings too!
