Any pun lovers at UR?

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Mon Nov 30, 2009 11:03 am

If anyone has any they would like to share please do!

A recent one I am quite proud of...

I was in HSBC bank a few weeks back and the guy in front was obviously from a local business and was cashing in some money. As he handed over the sack he apologised to the cashier, saying that he hoped it had dried out as he had accidentally put the money in the wash.

BAM!!
"that will teach him to money launder"

I looked around for a laugh but got instead a half smile and eyes rolled to the ceiling from the lady next to me in the queue...oh wellBigGrin

Matt

Post by **Trigger** » Tue Dec 01, 2009 9:36 am

I love puns but I never remember them, I really enjoy the puns of Groucho Marx in the early Marx Brothers films and those of the British Poet John Hegley.

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 10:08 am

come on you miserable lot!!

even if it is as bad as my one yesterday when I walked past a car with a dog asleep, I said to my colleague "let sleeping dogs lay"

Matt

Tito · Post by **Tito** » Thu Dec 03, 2009 9:04 pm

how bout one of ozzy's favorites?"IT'S LIKE A ONE LEGGED MAN IN AN ASS KICKING CONTEST ,HE CAN'T WIN!!!sorry i couldn't resist LOL!!!!

Post by **Trigger** » Fri Dec 04, 2009 2:45 pm

The British Band leader and comedian Humphrey Littleton RIP was being interviewed on the radio about two years ago and the interviewer said ‘I have been told that in your private time you are an autononologist!.....I mean hornyblow……….autithol……ornithologist?

Humph’ replied ‘I would sooner be a Bird Watcher than a Word botcher!

Now that is what I call a pun!

RRfish · Post by **RRfish** » Fri Dec 04, 2009 6:51 pm

"You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish, unless of course, you play bass."

Pirates dress so much better these days, they now wear AAAARRRMANI

YUK YUK YUK !

JustTakeAPebble · Post by **JustTakeAPebble** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:58 pm

My dad is nortorious with his puns, and to a degree I end up doing them myself.

Simon

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Tue Dec 08, 2009 7:36 pm

walking past a Range Rover my wife was concerned as there was a Labrador dog in the back seat laying down and she wasn't sure if it was alive...

Suzie "is it alive?, it looks though it could be dead"

anyway wait for it (I like this one!)

Cpt Matt "Suzie, let sleeping dogs lay"

I think she said that was one of my worst ones which translated to me, meant it was one of my best

Matt

tedeeoo · Post by **tedeeoo** » Wed Dec 09, 2009 4:18 am

Heard this on the radio this morning, I just couldn't resist, since it's all over the news here in the U.S.:

"Now that someone has spoken up about their affair with Tiger Woods, it seems like others are just coming out of the "wood-work".

I have heard others on the subject but in the name of good taste I shall refrain.

Cpt Matt Sparrow · Post by **Cpt Matt Sparrow** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 10:07 am

Ted!

A few very rude ones have come to my mind punning on the saying not being able to see the wood through the trees!

Matt

RRfish · Post by **RRfish** » Thu Dec 10, 2009 3:53 pm

http://www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com ... 9/1183725/

Beware this is harsh ! chuckle, chuckle !