Ultimate Rhoads

Friday night about 9:30 PM the phone rang. Nobody calls us that late. It was my mother-in-law calling to say that my 16-year-old nephew had died.

Ricky Osborne had a difficult life. His parents had him when they were too young to be responsible. His father did a lot of drinking and partying, spend lengths of time in jail as a result. A couple years ago Ricky watched his dad lie in a coma from his drinking. His mom tried, but as he got older, Ricky acted out a lot and mom remarried and had another child. THis left Ricky as odd man out.

Over the last few years, Ricky was a ward of the state. Spending time in a mental hospital to deal with his emotional issues. He would run away from the hospital just before it was time for his release so that he'd have to stay longer. It was the one place he felt safe and he didn't want to leave.

Over the summer he moved in with his grandmother and was working. He was looking forward to straightening himself out and getting back to school. Hs dad was teaching him to work on cars. The last time I saw him, he was happy. He and my son laughed and joked and we talked about giving him our mini-van for his first car as soon as we could replace it.

Apparently he hadn't been taking his medication regularly and a week ago his cousin on his mom's side committed suicide. Ricky was trying to cope. I don't know all the details, but I believe he chose to take his medication to help ease the pain. He took too much and died in his sleep.

Sixteen is too young to have so many issues and far too young to die.

damn paul thats terrible!!prayers to you and your family..

Thanks, Tito.

We're all doing the "if only" thing today. If only we'd called him more often. If only we'd given him the van right away. If only we'd had him stay with us fro a while this summer.

We get involved in the issues in our own lives and forget that there are others who we could help in very simple ways. Simple gestures and he might still be here.

That's what I mean about perspective.

My 12-year-old is seeing things in a whole new light today. He's struggling because he played with Ricky from birth and now he's gone. Jakob had to doing some painful growing up today and it's hard to watch. I want to protect him but I know I can't.

its hard buddy but no matter what you tried was ever going to change the outcome of what he chose...and please dont feel like im bieng hard with what im saying..nothing you say or do can change a persons frame of mind when they're in that spot...

if only his parents werent asstards. how could his mom remarry and have a kid and reject her own son...what a bitch...there is a reason they call the new stranger ,the step monster....i speak from experience....condolences to you...you know in cali you have to wait 6 months to get a divorce?how about making you pass a rigorous exam to have kids?most of these unwanted kids end up costing the taxpayers billions in prison and other state facilities.

Sorry to hear that Paul, poor kid, never had a safe and stable environment to grow up.....

oth wrote:you know in cali you have to wait 6 months to get a divorce?how about making you pass a rigorous exam to have kids?

Not a bad idea at all.

Thank you, guys.

It's nice to be able to comment on the parents here. Obviously my wife loves here brother and even if she 'knows' how his actions effected his son it's had to say the words and point the finger of blame. It's good to have an outlet to get some things off my chest that I cannot say otherwise.

My other brother-in-law started out the same way. He's about five years younger than his older brother and he, too, had a son very young. He also would leave the kid with grandma on Friday nights... he and his girlfriend had a second child, a daughter, and continued the lifestyle. Then a few years ago they decided to get married. He stopped drinking and focused on earning a good living and providing for his family. Unfortunately his wife did not follow suit and they divorced after four years. UGLY divorce with the kids being used as pawns to try to hurt dad. He now has sole custody and his son, now 14, is a straight A student looking for ways to get a scholarship and go to college after graduation.

Last night, Tyler said, "Now I'm the oldest of the grandkids and it's my responsibility to set a good example for the others."

"you reap what you sow"
sadly,it doesnt get more literal/applicable than in this case.
to me the most galling thing is the mom getting knocked up and ignoring her legit son and having him in a facility.That takes the fucking cake.Anyway she is paying the price now big time.But this fucks with everyones head which her irresponsible ass never considered, like your son.
My dad went and knocked up his very nasty new wife while i was living with them and that caused my exit from 'their' house.She was and still is the same deceitful bitch.I cant imagine if my mom pulled that stunt.Like i said, they call them step-monsters for a damn good reason.

Btw,last night i was returning home from hollywood and the southbound traffic on the freeway was jammed solid.About a mile later i saw 2 cop cars and all but 1 lane was open.I didnt see any cars banged up but this morning i read thata 24yr old kid fell out of a party bus and was killed when multiple cars hit him.So sad for all.Life is fleeting.It really makes me wanna just go on a giant world vacation which i can afford.

To be honest w/you- I'd seen this thread earlier but I couldn't bring myself to respond cuz I feel your pain on this one, or as they say shit got to be a little too real. Recently, I helped a friend bury the 2nd out of 6 children that she had lost in their teens. Her son died in 09 @ 16 from an anyrsm in his brain stem and last May her 18 year old daughter died from an overdose of prescription medication. It wasn't hers- it was her aunt's medicine, and she had asked her aunt to take her to the ER because she didn't feel right, but her sunt refused- she was afraid of being for being an accessory and/or giving her the methadone and xanax ti begin with- so the girl died instead.

I have had those kids in my house as much as my own and vice versa over the years. Our families weren't just close- we considered ourselves as one family against the world znd the odd circumstances of living in a small town, being 2 young single moms.

I didn't mean to make this thread about me Paul, so my apologies. I just wanted to say that I can relate. Even though we don't see eye to eye on everything, I respect you snd feel as though I know you thru our little RR community- you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers- there are no answers, this shit ain't fair and its certainly not easy to get through. Faith and time does bring a certain amount of relief- but you never know when that wound will be reopened. Kinda like this thread for me.

RRforeveRR wrote:I didn't mean to make this thread about me Paul, so my apologies.

No worries, this tread is about the perspective we have on life based on what has happened in out lives. It's a way to get to know one another and maybe see things from a different point of view for a moment.

People talk about changing the world, that will only happen when we can see the world as others see it. We can only see what needs to change by looking at it from all sides.

RRforeveRR wrote:...you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers- there are no answers, this shit ain't fair and its certainly not easy to get through. Faith and time does bring a certain amount of relief- but you never know when that wound will be reopened. Kinda like this thread for me.

Thank you for your prayers.

I know it's not popular here, but I know Ricky is with God in heaven. No doubt in my mind. When he took those pills God could have stopped his death in a myriad of ways, but He didn't. It was time for Ricky's pain in this life to end and He took that boy by the hand and walked with him into heaven, where he is at peace in a place made of love. Ricky deserves to be in a place made of love.

Ricky Osborne 1997 - 2013

wow how depressing....prescription drugs kill more than all other illegal drugs- combined...its a travesty but its business and the republican way...long live wall st and corporate greed....merck just announced they will save 2 billion dollars by laying off 10% of their workforce....its time to shut down big pharma;s narcotic drug dealing.

Paul so sorry to hear about your nephew, yeah we do try to find an answer and wish if we could of made a difference by being there for the guy. But you couldn't be in the guys life 24/7 and this is sadly the outcome. We grow up in different circumstances i would like to say i was brought up with very good parents. They didn't drink, but liked family occasions to party and have fun etc. In my younger days i took recreational drugs and drank in excess, and i still enjoy a drink and the odd spliff now. I was not introduced to drugs or drink from my parents and i let my parents know that i took them. Which in hind sight was better for them to know as i explained to them i didn't have a problem, i wasn't an addict and i could take or leave it. It must of been a worry for them when i was out partying etc. My mother saved my life on 2 occasions when she found me collapsed in my bedroom choking on my vomit. If i'd been living on my own and not at my parents it would of been a different out come. But as i mentioned it had nothing to do with my up bringing. Paul your nephews life ended tragically and i hope he has a place in heaven. Life throws us some ugly blows and someone always has a sadder story to tell. I was totally saddened by the news yesterday when this woman was in court for starving her child to death. The poor little lad never had a life, but it may of been kinder for him to have died as his life could of been full of misery at the hands of his mother. Or foster parents if he'd lived and been put into care. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -dead.html

Shaun, one of the things that does help is knowing he won't suffer more. Sure things could have turned around and gotten better, but they also could have stayed the same or gotten worse.

I tend to be optimistic in life, but in this case, I understand why this happened. I just hope that this helps his dad straighten out his life. Ricky's grandmother has gone through so much grief, she is the one I feel for the most.

Paul, I just want to say that I'm so very sorry. This is so sad. God bless Ricky.
Troy

Sky wrote:Paul, I just want to say that I'm so very sorry. This is so sad. God bless Ricky.
Troy

Thanks, Troy.