Allowing kids to get online

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Paul Wolfe
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Allowing kids to get online

Post by Paul Wolfe »

Okay, this is for those of you who, like me, have kids who are at the age of computer use...

My 11-year-old is using the 'net more now for school projects and is learning how to find info on what he is interested in. So far it's mainly been about looking for things to put on a birthday wishlist, watching wrestling on YouTube or seeking guitar lessons on YouTube. I know it will expand soon, though...

So, what do you do when giving the kid permission to get online? What are your rules?
Stiltzkin
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Re: Allowing kids to get online

Post by Stiltzkin »

Hmm... There are, or atleast were, web-blockers many years ago.
I believe there was a few "parental" programs as well for filtering
all kinds of things...

...anyway... You could always try to put a maximum web/computer limit.
Research for school can be done with books ;)
Paul Wolfe
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Re: Allowing kids to get online

Post by Paul Wolfe »

Stiltzkin wrote:Research for school can be done with books ;)
In 5th grade you'd think so, huh? He's actually required to have web research and Powerpoint presentations on some things!

I do have a parental control software on his computer called K9 which is pretty good... I was interested because on http://www.giveawayoftheday.com todays free software is for keeping track of your kid's online activity in a spying sort of way.

Trust between parents and children is important, so i was curious what rules people put on their kids computer use while maintaining the trust factor. Here is what one person on that other site wrote...

FROM THE SOFTWARE DEVELOPER:
“PC Tattletale lets you monitor your child’s activities on your computer. Once the software is installed you will be able to see everything they do when you are not around. The software is invisible to your child.”
COMMENT POSTED AT http://WWW.GIVEAWAYOFTHEDAY.COM REGARDING THIS SOFTWARE:
I’m sorry, but the first thing I did when I installed computers in my my children’s rooms is give them a four hour training session on how to use the computer. That lesson included where they could and couldn’t go and WHY. It also included a lesson on security and things like virus’ and trojans. It should be noted that both my kids had computers at age 11.

One of the “rules” was that they had to keep the door open when they were on the computer, and that I could come in at any time and look at what they were doing.

The rules included that they would NOT do some things, and I am glad to be able to say that this experience of trust has been well rewarded. My daughter has been online for over six years. She has NEVER had a virus or trojan. She has never done anything that violated the rules we established (together) and so I have never had to take her privileges away.

If you can’t build trust with your kids, spying on them is NOT the answer. This spyware, if and when they find out that you have been running it on their computer, will create a major barrier to trust. And they will find out. Once that trust has been violated, you might as well forget it.

Is the software any good? From a parenting point of view, no. Think of it this way, do you record everything your child does at school? Do you listen in and record all their telephone conversations? Do you eavesdrop at the door when their friends are over? Have a nanny-cam in their room recording everything they do for later review? If you do those things, then get the key logger, there is no trust between you and your offspring already, so spy away.

Remember that trust is a two way street. You have to exhibit it for it to be returned to you.
That comment spoke volumes to me and sparked the initiation of this thread.
shawn
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Re: Allowing kids to get online

Post by shawn »

Humans are curios creatures, if the person that wrote that article honestly believes their child has never broken the rules, either they are deluded or their child is just plain boring.

I also think that trust is important between parents and children. With that said, if you look into the dark corners of the net there is some extremely disturbing content. While at university we often searched out the worst of the worst to try disturb each other, I know for a fact there is content out there that can make the hardened net user sick.

The best option is to keep the computer in a family area, do not let children use a computer in an unsupervised environment. Take interest in what they are doing. Install some sort of net nanny, and don’t feel too guilty about using it, you are the parent and in reality you just won’t to protect your child. Use the software to lock of certain sites, and key words. Tell your kids why you are doing it, no need to break any trust issues. Anyway it will not be long before they know how to get around the software if they have keen minds.

Remember once a child goes to school they have the rest of the world putting insane ideas into their heads, you will not be able to protect them forever. Do the best you can for as long as you can. Well maybe not well into their fifties, that may be taking it to far.
Paul Wolfe
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Re: Allowing kids to get online

Post by Paul Wolfe »

shawn wrote:Remember once a child goes to school they have the rest of the world putting insane ideas into their heads, you will not be able to protect them forever. Do the best you can for as long as you can.
So very true, Shawn, thanks for stating that so well.
Stiltzkin
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Re: Allowing kids to get online

Post by Stiltzkin »

I was a few years older when I got my first computer,
BUT, as pointed out earlier, trust is the key here.
I had it in my own room with no supervision whatsoever 8)
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