As I write this, I listen to George Thorogood's Get a Haircut song on repeat, knowing that this could very well be the last time I truly understand the meaning of the song. That song has so many memories with it. I remember Jimmie having long shaggy hair, and making fun of him for it, saying that when he got it cut he should listen to that song. It reminds me of all the times my dad glared at me for it, of the time my grandmother sat behind me during Michael's wedding and told me if she had scissors that she would cut it off, of my grandpa and uncle glaring at me from the corner thinking I couldn't overhear them complaining about it. It reminds me of my aunt giving hugs to Daniel, and then Jimmie, and then just glaring at me as if I were the spawn of Satan (she eventually did give me a hug, but it was obvious she didn't want to get infected with the powers of the Prince of Darkness).
The hair has so many more memories, of Geoff Copus saying that he saw me from the distance and thought I was an extremely ugly chick that had gotten beaten with a crowbar, of John Keye's grandpa asking John who the cute bitch was in the car and then staring at me and being like, "Oh wait! That's a guy!" I remember being called a chick on so many occasions. I remember little kids in Walmart asking their parents if I was a guy or a girl as I checked out their items. And we can't forget the Country Club, where over the phone they said I would be moved inside after the summer, but when they got a glimpse of me in person everybody was shocked, and I was let go after summer with the excuse there was no work. But my hair and I, we know the truth.
How many times have I banged my head out of time when completely intoxicated? How many times did I wake up with massive whiplash in the mornings, realizing I probably should be slightly more concerned about my body as I sat on the toilet with the cheap beer squirts. How many times have I tried eating food with my hair getting in the way? How many times did I get pissed off when trying to get a drink, because I had to set down my books and hold the long strands back? How many times did I braid it during class or at peoples' houses, bored out of my mind. How many times did I get pissed off in the morning trying to tie my hair back, realizing it wasn't nearly as easy as girls made it out to be.
I remember when I first decided to get my hair long. I had always wanted to do it after falling in love with the splendors of rock 'n roll. But my parents had told me that until I was eighteen, my hair was staying short. After high school, just like the song, I grew my hair long. I had a professor for the fall term, and then for spring, and I remember him asking me when I was going to cut it. I just smiled and told him I couldn't. My dad was so angry every single day I grew it out a tiny bit longer, saying it looked like I had a mop on my head. My mom just shrugged her shoulders. God knows I've done worse. I remember everybody at the apartment saying, when I was in the gay transition stage, that I should just cut it and never fulfill my dream of having long hair. I remember Daniel telling me that I should get it thinned and trimmed. I was like, "I'm not gay." Thankfully I decided to grow it out longer.
So why am I writing about my hair? Because today I am going to go get it cut off, and donate it to Locks For Love so some kid with cancer can headbang, and live a dream that I have lived for quite some time now. Although it is time to move on, and join this thing called society, of bowing to the status quo, I cannot say I regret a thing about it. I had always wanted long hair, and since my freshman year at Northwood I have been growing it out. I guess it only makes sense that I cut it off during my senior year.
The Christopher A. Smith as you know him will no longer exist. Pray him well, but always understand that the spirit of the headbanger you all knew will always exist, a kid with long hair headbanging to heavy metal forever (out of time, of course).
So, in the words of Megadeth, a message to you all.
A tout le monde (To all the world!)
A tout mes amis (To all my friends)
Je vous aime (I love you)
Je dois partir (I must leave)
