I was reading a post elsewhere regarding the passing of Randy. Amongst the comments of how sad they are about his death, someone simply wrote the word "unfair".
For many years I've heard people use that term to describe what happened on March 19th, 1982. I also heard it said on March 19th, 1990 when Andy Wood died tragically. "It's so unfair, why did he have to die?" With this post I am asking people to explain why the word unfair is used in this context. I really don't understand, I am not trying to be a smartass.
To me death is a part of life that is often hard to understand. Why do children have to suffer and die? Why are some people murdered while others are spared? Why do some people lose their lives when they are in their prime?
I answer all these questions this way: God gave each of us life and when He decides it is time for this life to end, it does. Some people die in tragic manners because those of us who are living need to learn some lessons that the deaths of others can teach us. I believe their souls do not die, only their physical bodies. I believe their souls continue on the journey.
Because of these beliefs, the word "unfair" just seems out of place to me. So anyone who can explain the reasoning behind it's use, please do.
Help me understand
Moderators: Randy Perry, The Flying Dutchman, Stiltzkin, skezza, Trigger
Unfair.
It was unfair that Randy had to die at such a young age.
The reason I have used it in that context when a person that I know has died, is that I feel that it was unfair to me, that I was cheated of having the person with us longer.
It was unfair that my daughter had to die when she was 4 and a half months old. I did not get to have all the memories of seeing her crawl, walk, say her first words, etc. I felt cheated. I felt, and still do feel, that God cheated me of many precious years with her.
I know that there is reasons for why God does what he does, but to me, when he takes people that I love and respect, whether I know the personally or not, I feel that He does not play fair; that he went against the rules. That I, or we, did not get to experience our lifetime with the person who had passed.
To me, that's unfair.
It was unfair that Randy had to die at such a young age.
The reason I have used it in that context when a person that I know has died, is that I feel that it was unfair to me, that I was cheated of having the person with us longer.
It was unfair that my daughter had to die when she was 4 and a half months old. I did not get to have all the memories of seeing her crawl, walk, say her first words, etc. I felt cheated. I felt, and still do feel, that God cheated me of many precious years with her.
I know that there is reasons for why God does what he does, but to me, when he takes people that I love and respect, whether I know the personally or not, I feel that He does not play fair; that he went against the rules. That I, or we, did not get to experience our lifetime with the person who had passed.
To me, that's unfair.
Better people....
Better food...
And better beer.
Better food...
And better beer.
let me give this a shot. not that i have any special insight or wisdom to share but i have considered this question. imagine, god forbid, that your newborn child is born with severe permanent medical problems. mixed in with the anguish and concern would be the unfairness of it all. "couldn't she have just been healthy and everything turned out alright?"
okay, now quick, change gears. you've just won the powerball lotto. "but of course, i deserve the good fortune!" notice that there's no questioning this turn of events. i believe most folks believe that they deserve all of the good things and none of the bad. that's a dumb example but it illustrates a point. i expect the sun to rise tomorrow. i expect to live to a ripe age. i deserve it after all.
i believe in the afterlife and i suspect that our beliefs are probably quite similar. however, i have developed quite a fondness for this planet and i am in no hurry to leave it. if i were to think that i may leave 'before my time', i would probably feel cheated. never mind that the experience was a gift in the first place. i've been 'robbed' of the future, the promise, the potential. we are creatures of time after all.
randy's gone and i've had a long time to get used to that idea. we had many deep conversations of the type this thread is about. but it still hurt at the time and seemed unfair anyways. perhaps your convictions are stronger than mine. perhaps i'm twenty-five years along now and i understand a little better, but i still struggle with the pain of it all.
okay, now quick, change gears. you've just won the powerball lotto. "but of course, i deserve the good fortune!" notice that there's no questioning this turn of events. i believe most folks believe that they deserve all of the good things and none of the bad. that's a dumb example but it illustrates a point. i expect the sun to rise tomorrow. i expect to live to a ripe age. i deserve it after all.
i believe in the afterlife and i suspect that our beliefs are probably quite similar. however, i have developed quite a fondness for this planet and i am in no hurry to leave it. if i were to think that i may leave 'before my time', i would probably feel cheated. never mind that the experience was a gift in the first place. i've been 'robbed' of the future, the promise, the potential. we are creatures of time after all.
randy's gone and i've had a long time to get used to that idea. we had many deep conversations of the type this thread is about. but it still hurt at the time and seemed unfair anyways. perhaps your convictions are stronger than mine. perhaps i'm twenty-five years along now and i understand a little better, but i still struggle with the pain of it all.
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Paul Wolfe
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I don't know that my convictions are stronger, maybe it's just the place I'm at, at the moment...
The reason I brought it up is that I hear people say "unfair" about Randy a lot. Usually it is people who didn't know him and often it's people who weren't even alive when he was. I don't ever think I've heard someone say that it was unfair that JFK died when he did. Tragic, yes, but not unfair.
To me saying life has been unfair is usually a selfish thing, like Gina said. She feels cheated because she lost out on something. Granted, losing a child would test my faith greatly, so, Gina, my heart goes out to you. I don't mean the word "selfish" to have a negative connotation, but rather I use it to refer to feelings centered on one's self. Does that make sense?
You all know how messed up my life has been for two years - constant pain, etc. But I don't consider it unfair that I am suffering and poor while others are rolling in money and have an easy life. I believe that God is teaching me something and this is what I need to go through to learn the lesson He has for me.
I wasn't always like this, by the way. I used to get very angry at God when bad things happened to me. Now I just try to understand that He isn't always going to tell me why something happened. I do my best to accept it and remember that He knows what is best for everyone and will show us what we need to know when we need to know it. That is what I believe.
I appreciate your comments. So, thank you.
The reason I brought it up is that I hear people say "unfair" about Randy a lot. Usually it is people who didn't know him and often it's people who weren't even alive when he was. I don't ever think I've heard someone say that it was unfair that JFK died when he did. Tragic, yes, but not unfair.
To me saying life has been unfair is usually a selfish thing, like Gina said. She feels cheated because she lost out on something. Granted, losing a child would test my faith greatly, so, Gina, my heart goes out to you. I don't mean the word "selfish" to have a negative connotation, but rather I use it to refer to feelings centered on one's self. Does that make sense?
You all know how messed up my life has been for two years - constant pain, etc. But I don't consider it unfair that I am suffering and poor while others are rolling in money and have an easy life. I believe that God is teaching me something and this is what I need to go through to learn the lesson He has for me.
I wasn't always like this, by the way. I used to get very angry at God when bad things happened to me. Now I just try to understand that He isn't always going to tell me why something happened. I do my best to accept it and remember that He knows what is best for everyone and will show us what we need to know when we need to know it. That is what I believe.
I appreciate your comments. So, thank you.
Paul,
You make sense. It's just that the word is mis-used quite a bit.
It's just seems to fit, to describe the feelings at the time. I still think things are unfair, but as you have said, you learn to accept it. Through the years, as the ole saying goes "time heals all wounds" is true. Time travels faster than we want it and slower than we'd like.
I just hope when my name comes up on the grand list, it won't be "unfair" to anyone.
You make sense. It's just that the word is mis-used quite a bit.
It's just seems to fit, to describe the feelings at the time. I still think things are unfair, but as you have said, you learn to accept it. Through the years, as the ole saying goes "time heals all wounds" is true. Time travels faster than we want it and slower than we'd like.
I just hope when my name comes up on the grand list, it won't be "unfair" to anyone.
Better people....
Better food...
And better beer.
Better food...
And better beer.
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Paul Wolfe
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GUITARIDOL5682
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Words like Death and Unfair are used on a few of the above posts and the word Unfair is what i would use when a loved one has been taking from this world suddenly .You've got to have experienced that loss, if that person died because he suffered with bad health and he/she has gone to a better place and the suffering has stopped and they are without pain.My Father died of cancer and i would say that he didn't suffer but his quality of life came to a stop and he knew that he didn't have long left for this planet.So when he died, he went with dignity and he didn't suffer which was a God send as i prayed that he wouldn't turn terminaly ill and in a way i was pleased that he never suffered.But what i didn't know and it cuts me up badly, was that my Mother would die a month later of a massive brain haemorrage.Totaly out of the blue and to everyones shock, it was unfair and it wasn't her time.Alot of people say comforting things like "She's with your Dad" but if that is what Death is all about it is totaly unkind and definately unfair especially for everyone who have to get on with life.We all have to go through this more then once in our lives and it's a hard time to cope with and carry on when those people are no longer here.I hope they have both gone to a better place and i'd like to think of them both being together but to say that my parents both died at such short notice i would say that this was unfair.
I was going to write a post here but I don't think my 'unfair's' need posting after reading GI's and Sarab's. To both of you my opinion is that they were both unfair, I have no doubts about that.
Instead I am going to tell a David Bowie story; about 4 years ago he released a song called 'Everyone says hi!' (from the 'Heathen' album) it's a sappy, fun track with nothing that seems very deep or profound. He had been trying to write a song about the sudden death of his Dad for 35yrs. At the time David had released 'Space Oddity' and as it was becoming a hit he was planning to show his dad how he was becoming a success, after many failures but before he could visit his dad, he died suddenly and without warning. David said his only way of coping was with heavy drugs and imagining his dad was on a long holiday. All these years later that is still how he thinks of his dad, roaming the globe having fun.
While he was writing the song it started to represent his dad and Mark Bolan ((T Rex) who had died an hour after leaving David in 1977 after performing the track 'Heroes' on UK TV with Mark.) Mark and David had been close friends since the late 60's.
This morning I checked out the lyrics and It reminded me of things that Frank had said about his relationship with Randy after he had left for Britain and embarked on his career with Ozzy that robbed the world so unfairly of even more material created by the great Randy Rhoads.
'Everyone says Hi!' by David Bowie
Said you took a big trip
They said you moved away
Happened oh, so quietly
They say
Shoulda took a picture
Something I could keep
Buy a little frame
Something cheap
For you
Everyone says hi
Said you sailed a big ship
Said you sailed away
Didn't know the right thing
To say
I'd love to get a letter
Like to know what's what
Hope the weather's good
And it's not too hot
For you
Everyone says hi
Everyone says hi
Everyone says
Don't stay in a sad place
Where they don't care how you are
Everyone says hi
If the money is lousy
You can always come home
We can do the old things
We can do all the bad things
If the food gets you leery
You can always phone
We could do all the good things
We could do it, we could do it,
we could do it
Don't stay in a bad place
Where they don't care how you are
Everyone says hi
Everyone says hi
Everyone says hi
And the girl next door
And the guy upstairs
Everyone says hi
And your mum and dad
Everyone says hi
And your big fat dog
Everyone says hi
Everyone says hi
Hi hi hi hi
Instead I am going to tell a David Bowie story; about 4 years ago he released a song called 'Everyone says hi!' (from the 'Heathen' album) it's a sappy, fun track with nothing that seems very deep or profound. He had been trying to write a song about the sudden death of his Dad for 35yrs. At the time David had released 'Space Oddity' and as it was becoming a hit he was planning to show his dad how he was becoming a success, after many failures but before he could visit his dad, he died suddenly and without warning. David said his only way of coping was with heavy drugs and imagining his dad was on a long holiday. All these years later that is still how he thinks of his dad, roaming the globe having fun.
While he was writing the song it started to represent his dad and Mark Bolan ((T Rex) who had died an hour after leaving David in 1977 after performing the track 'Heroes' on UK TV with Mark.) Mark and David had been close friends since the late 60's.
This morning I checked out the lyrics and It reminded me of things that Frank had said about his relationship with Randy after he had left for Britain and embarked on his career with Ozzy that robbed the world so unfairly of even more material created by the great Randy Rhoads.
'Everyone says Hi!' by David Bowie
Said you took a big trip
They said you moved away
Happened oh, so quietly
They say
Shoulda took a picture
Something I could keep
Buy a little frame
Something cheap
For you
Everyone says hi
Said you sailed a big ship
Said you sailed away
Didn't know the right thing
To say
I'd love to get a letter
Like to know what's what
Hope the weather's good
And it's not too hot
For you
Everyone says hi
Everyone says hi
Everyone says
Don't stay in a sad place
Where they don't care how you are
Everyone says hi
If the money is lousy
You can always come home
We can do the old things
We can do all the bad things
If the food gets you leery
You can always phone
We could do all the good things
We could do it, we could do it,
we could do it
Don't stay in a bad place
Where they don't care how you are
Everyone says hi
Everyone says hi
Everyone says hi
And the girl next door
And the guy upstairs
Everyone says hi
And your mum and dad
Everyone says hi
And your big fat dog
Everyone says hi
Everyone says hi
Hi hi hi hi
Cologne she'll wear silver and americard, She'll drive a beetle car and beat you down at cool Canasta. And when the clothes are strewn don't be afraid of the room touch the fullness of her breast feel the love of her caress she will be your living end.
Thank you Ian.
Now you've got tears running down my cheeks.
Not tears of sadness, tears of rememberance.
I often wonder if your loved ones meet up with you when you pass away. Is there a terminal where your mom and dad are waiting there for you with your grandparents so that they can take you to meet God? Then, afterwards, go and have coffee and get you up to speed what goes on there. Do they introduce you to people that you'd always want to meet when they were alive, and now your parents are best friends with them? Do they stay the same age as when they left us? And when children die, do they age the be a certain age, or do they stay the same as well?
Those lyrics just made me think more about the afterlife, and how much we will never know until we get there.
Now you've got tears running down my cheeks.
Not tears of sadness, tears of rememberance.
I often wonder if your loved ones meet up with you when you pass away. Is there a terminal where your mom and dad are waiting there for you with your grandparents so that they can take you to meet God? Then, afterwards, go and have coffee and get you up to speed what goes on there. Do they introduce you to people that you'd always want to meet when they were alive, and now your parents are best friends with them? Do they stay the same age as when they left us? And when children die, do they age the be a certain age, or do they stay the same as well?
Those lyrics just made me think more about the afterlife, and how much we will never know until we get there.
Better people....
Better food...
And better beer.
Better food...
And better beer.
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GUITARIDOL5682
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- Posts: 4761
- Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:42 pm
Gina i like your way of thinking on this subject but i think you can ask yourself similar questions to why! you are who you are and the "is life on other planets question".I do think that each individual must have thought this at sometime and why are we here.If we are the only planet in the whole solar system. How come we evolved from apes to humans.Why aren't we stuck here just being primitive men and woman why do we have to become better individuals.?? Because if the life after death thing does happen, they must have a good team of people who have alot of explaining to do when your queing up at the pearly gates waiting for the clouds and harps to be issued..HA HA!Sarab wrote:Thank you Ian.
Now you've got tears running down my cheeks.
Not tears of sadness, tears of rememberance.
I often wonder if your loved ones meet up with you when you pass away. Is there a terminal where your mom and dad are waiting there for you with your grandparents so that they can take you to meet God? Then, afterwards, go and have coffee and get you up to speed what goes on there. Do they introduce you to people that you'd always want to meet when they were alive, and now your parents are best friends with them? Do they stay the same age as when they left us? And when children die, do they age the be a certain age, or do they stay the same as well?
Those lyrics just made me think more about the afterlife, and how much we will never know until we get there.
Oh, I'd better have the diamond and ruby encrusted harp!GUITARIDOL5682 wrote:
Gina i like your way of thinking on this subject but i think you can ask yourself similar questions to why! you are who you are and the "is life on other planets question".I do think that each individual must have thought this at sometime and why are we here.If we are the only planet in the whole solar system. How come we evolved from apes to humans.Why aren't we stuck here just being primitive men and woman why do we have to become better individuals.?? Because if the life after death thing does happen, they must have a good team of people who have alot of explaining to do when your queing up at the pearly gates waiting for the clouds and harps to be issued..HA HA!
The evolution of man is a strange subject. This is one arguement that science and religion can not win.
One says we evolved from apes, while the other says we were created from Adam and Eve in God's likeness. Who to believe?
We believe what is in our heart; which usually wins out over logical thinking when it comes to loved ones. At least, thats what happens to me.
Better people....
Better food...
And better beer.
Better food...
And better beer.
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Paul Wolfe
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See, now I think the whole "unfair" question would be even more incorrect for followers of the evolution theory. If we just "happened" to have hour world by a "big bang" and it all happened by chance, then everything from then on would be based on chance. To me, that would mean that every moment of our lives is based on chance. So death could happen at any moment and is not fair or unfair, it is just chance.
I recently read a book about Edgar Cayce and the subject of reincarnation came up in the book. Cayce was very much a Christian and read the Bible cover to cover once a year, ever year of his life aft the ag of 12 or so. He felt reincarnation to be at odds with his beliefs until the subject appeared in his readings.
To make a long story short, his findings suggest that a person's "reason for being" is so the soul can learn specific lessons. When death occurs, the souldcontinues to live and returns with the birth of another child to learn lessons not lerned in a previous life. This process continues until all the necessary lessons are learned. He also believed that talents are not forgotten from one life to the next, so a talented musician in one life would be able to show that talent at a much earlier age in the next life - hence "child prodigies". The soul does not remember the specifics about the life they have lived, however.
Randy Rhoads was described as "an old soul" and this could explain it... something to think about.
I recently read a book about Edgar Cayce and the subject of reincarnation came up in the book. Cayce was very much a Christian and read the Bible cover to cover once a year, ever year of his life aft the ag of 12 or so. He felt reincarnation to be at odds with his beliefs until the subject appeared in his readings.
To make a long story short, his findings suggest that a person's "reason for being" is so the soul can learn specific lessons. When death occurs, the souldcontinues to live and returns with the birth of another child to learn lessons not lerned in a previous life. This process continues until all the necessary lessons are learned. He also believed that talents are not forgotten from one life to the next, so a talented musician in one life would be able to show that talent at a much earlier age in the next life - hence "child prodigies". The soul does not remember the specifics about the life they have lived, however.
Randy Rhoads was described as "an old soul" and this could explain it... something to think about.